


it’s a bad idea (me and you)

by sundaymournin



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hate to Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 15:12:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13661622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundaymournin/pseuds/sundaymournin
Summary: They’d met when Isak was eighteen and Even was twenty. When Isak had been more bitter and angry than usual and Even had been a little too sensitive to cruel words. Isak had been kicked out by his boyfriend, who was bipolar and Even had just gotten dumped by his girlfriend of something like six years.It had been bad timing. Really, really bad timing.OR Isak and Even met at a bad time, but that could never stop them, could it?





	it’s a bad idea (me and you)

**Author's Note:**

> isak is hella insensitive about mental illness so trigger warning fam

_ “it’s time we just let this thing go but _

_ it was a pretty good bad idea, wasn’t it, though?” _

 

* * *

 

 

They’d met when Isak was eighteen and Even was twenty. When Isak had been more bitter and angry than usual and Even had been a little too sensitive to cruel words. Isak had been kicked out by his boyfriend, who was bipolar and Even had just gotten dumped by his girlfriend of something like six years. 

 

It had been bad timing. Really,  _ really _ bad timing. 

 

“She just dumped me.” Even was telling Magnus sadly. “Out of nowhere.”

 

“I’m really sorry, dude.” Mags had frowned, clapped a hand on the man’s shoulder. “That’s really shitty.” 

 

“She always said she wouldn’t let the illness get in the way,” Even went out, looking off into space. He probably hadn’t even noticed Magnus was there, probably wouldn’t even have noticed if the guy had gotten up and walked away. He just wanted to talk about his problems. “But she did. I had  _ one _ bad episode and — It’s just over.” 

 

Isak snorted from where he sat across from them, nursing something like his seventh cocktail. 

 

“What?” Even asked, blue eyes turning on him. 

 

“It’s never just  _ one _ bad episode.” Isak told him, words slurred, eyes cruel. “It’s fifty bad episodes and guess who’s always picking up after you when you’re done? She is. And she never gets a thank you, just fucking correction. As if she’s supposed to know how to handle all of this shit. As if she’s supposed to know how to explain to the landlord in a polite way that her boyfriend isn’t trying to kill the people on the sidewalk, he’s just tired of having a television and threw it out the window.” 

 

Even blinked, eyes wide. “I didn’t?” 

 

Magnus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “His boyfriend just kicked him out. Isak, maybe we should—“

 

“It’s never just one episode.” Isak repeated, shaking his head. 

 

“So you think I deserved it?” Even asked him, jaw clenching. 

 

“He doesn’t.” Magnus interjected. “He’s just drunk.”

 

But Isak looked him over, barely taking him in. Even looked nothing like Nils, acted nothing like Nils. But still. “You’re bipolar?” 

 

Even nodded once. 

 

“Do you think she deserved everything you’ve said to her?” Isak asked. 

 

“Oh, come _ on _ , Is.” Magnus winced. “Not every bipolar person is the same.” 

 

Isak just narrowed his eyes at Even. “But did she?” 

 

Even had thrown the drink in his face and stormed off. 

 

Since then, everyone kept them apart. They all knew the two of them would never get along after that, they all knew it would be disastrous if the two were left alone again. It had been two years and several partners later, for both of them, but Even still glared in Isak’s direction. 

 

Isak didn’t really remember why. 

 

He remembered the drink being thrown in his face and how he’d spent the next day and a half puking his guts out on Eskild’s couch, but other than that? It was mostly a blur. After that, Even Bech Naesheim never talked to him ever again and, well, Isak was bitter. And angry. 

 

And kind of an asshole. 

 

In his head, he knew it wasn’t okay to judge people for their mental illness. He’d never want anyone to tell him that his insomnia was a deal breaker, but his insomnia was  _ manageable _ . It didn’t end in near-death experiences or police visits. It didn’t end in hospitals and Isak had been there enough. First with his mother, then with Nils. He’d taken chances on people and every single time, got burned. 

 

Magnus’ mom was an exception, but even she seemed like she had learned to manage it. She’d learned to control it. She was fine. 

 

Even Bech Naesheim was just another mentally ill person that would’ve hurt Isak in the end anyway. 

 

“Bro,” Mahdi shook his head, pulling Isak’s beer out of his hand. “You can’t say that.” 

 

“It’s true!” Isak insisted. 

 

Mahdi made a face. “You don’t fucking know that. And you don’t know Even, alright? Jonas would kick your ass if he heard you say that.” 

 

“Jonas would never kick my ass; he loves me too much.” Isak argued. 

 

Mahdi raised his eyebrows. “Isak.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Even is a good guy. You can’t keep saying shit like that.” Mahdi repeated, seriously. “You don’t know what he’s been through and what he’s had to… Saying shit like that can set people back. It can fuck them up. Don’t be that guy.” 

 

Isak made a face. “So, what? Because he can’t handle someone having an opinion, I can’t talk?” 

 

Mahdi groaned. “ _ Jesus _ .” 

 

“What’s up?” Jonas asked, sitting down next to his boyfriend. Isak was still trying to get used to  _ that. _

 

“Your best friend needs to go.” Mahdi told him. “This is a woke-only zone and he’s not woke.”

 

Isak’s mouth dropped open. “I’m more woke than Magnus!” 

 

“Barely.” Jonas and Mahdi said together. 

 

“Is it about Even?” Jonas sighed, taking the beer from Mahdi’s hand —  _ Isak’s _ beer. 

 

“I’m just saying.” Isak whined. “Bipolar people hurt people. That’s just a fact.” 

 

Jonas winced. “ _ Dude _ .” 

 

Isak rolled his eyes, hard. “Oh, what? You want to tell me it’s not true.” 

 

“It’s not.” Jonas told him, lips pursing. “And if you say that shit when Even gets here, I’m not gonna defend you. I get why you’re saying that, but… No, man. You’re smarter than that.” 

 

Isak leaned back in his chair, feeling like a scolded child. He didn’t understand how he was twenty years old and was still being treated like a sixteen year old. He’d lived life. He saw what it was. 

 

People hurt you, people left. Done. 

 

“Why is he coming tonight?” Isak asked finally. 

 

“Because he set it up.” Mahdi pointed out, absentmindedly playing with Jonas’ curls. “He’s showing a film tomorrow and wanted to hang out with us one last time before he made it big.” 

 

Jonas and Mahdi smiled fondly, but Isak thought he sounded like a dick. Because he was.

 

“Right.” He mumbled, doubtful.

 

Jonas sighed. “Issy, I love you, but you’ve got to be cool tonight. If he kicks you out, that’s gonna be on you.” 

 

“Fine, whatever.” Isak rolled his eyes. He could be cool. 

 

Whatever. 

 

* * *

 

 

Everyone thought Even was charming. And he was, even Isak could see that, but that didn’t mean he was actually nice. Or whatever. What actual nice person throws a drink in someone’s face?

 

“Are you nervous for tomorrow?” Mahdi was asking Even, still stealing Isak’s beers every time he turned his head. 

 

“A little.” Even shrugged, sipping his beer.  _ He _ was drinking and no one was taking  _ his _ beer, which seemed off, because if anyone shouldn’t have been drinking, it was clearly him. “I tried my absolute best, though, and I’m really happy with the product.  I think it’s good.” 

 

Jonas grinned. “That’s really cool, man. I’m proud of you.” 

 

“Thank you.” Even smiled, preening under the praise. 

 

“It’s beautiful.” Mikael spoke up, punching Even’s shoulder. “It’s my favorite cheesy romance.” 

 

Even rolled his eyes.

 

“A romcom?” Mahdi asked. “When can we see it?”

 

“After every critic loves it and gives him all the awards.” Mikael grinned. 

 

“How do you know it’ll get awards?” Isak asked, shrugging when Jonas and Mahdi gave him a sharp look. “What?”

 

Mikael pursed his lips. “Because it’s a good film.” 

 

“Don’t you  _ have _ to say that?” Isak asked.

 

“You’re such a dick.” Mikael rolled his eyes. 

 

Even was looking at him, eyebrows knit together. He wasn’t glaring, exactly, but he didn’t look happy about Isak being there. Shocker. “He’s kind of got a point.” 

 

“No, he doesn’t.” Jonas told him. 

 

Isak rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying, he won’t know it’s good until the critics tell him, right?” 

 

“Why are you here again?” Mikael asked. 

 

Isak shrugged. “Wanted a beer.” 

 

“I trust Mikael to tell me if it’s shit.” Even told him calmly. “But thank you for the concern.” 

 

“Touchy.” Isak noted. 

 

“More just bored with the Valtersen act.” Even sighed, taking a sip of his drink. 

 

“What does that mean?” Isak asked, jaw clenching.

 

Even shrugged. “You’re a dick for fun. It’s your thing.” 

 

“That’s not my  _ thing _ .” Isak told him angrily. “What the hell?”

 

“Maybe your problem is you let your pain turn you into a dick, then. Either way, you treat people badly.” Even told him. “You could’ve learned and decided to be a better person, but instead you took the easy way out. You decided to stop growing. And that’s your fault, not mine or any other person’s. So stop taking it out on me, okay?”

 

Isak’s mouth dropped open, his chest clenching painfully. “You don’t know what I’ve been through. You wouldn’t understand.” 

 

Even rolled his eyes, mouth turning up into a smile. “Actually, I might. That’s your issue, Valtersen, you think the world is against you. You think no one has ever felt pain the way you have, and that’s…  _ God _ , that’s so selfish. Don’t you think?” 

 

“Fuck you.” 

 

“Not in a million years.” Even snorted. 

 

* * *

 

“You couldn’t be cool for  _ one _ night.” Mahdi shook his head. 

 

Jonas sighed. “You didn’t have to ruin his night, Isak.”

 

Isak was walking behind them, hands shoved into his pockets while the snow fell onto his face, freezing him a little. He hadn’t been  _ trying  _ to ruin his night; it had been a genuine question. How did someone have that much confidence in themselves? How could they look at what they put out in the world and declare that it was, without a shadow of a doubt, good? How could they believe in themselves that much? It was unthinkable. 

 

“I’m sorry.” He huffed. 

 

“You know, Isak.” Mahdi began, holding Jonas’ hand. “He was kind of right. You are a dick to people.”

 

Jonas bumped Mahdi’s shoulder. “Come on.”

 

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Mahdi asked, glancing back at Isak. “You’re not the only one in the world with problems. Jonas has problems, I have problems. But you’ve got to be chill too.”

 

“I said I’m sorry, what more do you want?” Isak asked, fists clenching in his pockets. 

 

Jonas sighed heavily. “Nothing, Issy.” 

 

Mahdi gave his boyfriend a look. “Just be better. That’s all anyone wants. Be nicer to people.”

 

Isak didn’t understand how he made it sound so easy.

 

* * *

 

 

Even’s film won awards. It was a hit. He was probably going places and everyone was so happy for him. Everyone was so proud of him. Everyone was constantly talking about him. 

 

Isak didn’t watch the film, but he had listened to enough conversations to get the gist.

 

It was about someone overcoming, growing. It made everyone who watched it cry and Eva said it had been life changing.

 

“I want to be a better person.” She told Isak, smiling fondly. “I want to change the way I’m living.”

 

“What’s wrong with the way you’re living?” Isak asked, scowling. “You're fucking great, Eva.”

 

Eva laughed. “Thank you, but… I don’t know. I’ve been angry for a long time, I think. About my dad not being around, about my mom working too much.” She paused, looking away. “About Jonas. And Vilde. And… I haven’t let any of it go.”

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t.” Isak shrugged. 

 

“That’s the thing,” Eva sighed. “I should. I should let it go so I can be happier. That’s the point.”

 

Isak sat back in his seat, taking a large gulp of his coffee. “If you let that stuff go, you lose all your sense of self preservation. You’ve learned from dealing with your parents and with losing Jonas and Vilde. You’ve become better.”

 

“By becoming hard?” Eva asked, a sympathetic smile on her lips. “You don’t believe that.” 

 

“I do.” Isak shrugged. 

 

She wasn’t the only one that loved the movie. Linn had cut and dyed her hair after seeing it, Elias had asked Eskild out, Noora had broken up with William. It was changing everyone’s life, making them all ‘grow’ as people. 

 

Grow so none of them came to Isak’s anymore, so none of them asked him to hang out. So none of them noticed when he stopped showing up to his classes and instead got a full time job as a telemarketer. They were all moving up in the world.

 

And Isak was at a standstill. Alone. 

 

Or, mostly alone.

 

“Come out tonight.” Eskild begged, standing in the doorway of Isak’s room. “No one’s seen you in months.”

 

“Who’s fault is that?” Isak mumbled to himself, regretting having given Eskild keys to his new flat when he’d moved in. It had been his first time living alone and he’d thought he’d feel better if Eskild was able to come over whenever he wanted. 

 

He didn’t. 

 

“This is part of growing up.” Eskild told him honestly. “The growing apart thing? The being busy thing? That’s part of it.”

 

Isak nodded. 

 

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out when you get the chance.” Eskild went on. “And right now you have the chance, so get dressed.” 

 

Everyone else seemed to adjust to the change better than he did. They all seemed to wear their new clothes and sleeker haircuts better than him. They all seemed to laugh while holding glasses of wine more gracefully. Isak felt out of place with his friends, he felt alone. 

 

Even when they all stood in the same room. 

 

“Oh, god.” Mikael sighed as soon as he saw Isak. 

 

Next to him, Even looked up, expression unreadable. “Halla.”

 

Isak nodded at them, letting Eskild usher him into a seat and put a beer down in front of him. He’d fought with his friend the entire ride over, begging to go back home. He didn’t belong here. He wasn’t adult enough; he was just going to ruin the night. 

 

Like he ruined everything.

 

“So,” Mikael began a little while later, after Isak had a few drinks in him. His eyes were feeling a little heavy, his brain a little muddled. He’d been trying to keep up with the conversations, trying to figure out what everyone was up to lately while decidedly not saying a word. “Even’s movie won awards. I think you owe him an apology.” 

 

“Mik.” Even rolled his eyes. 

 

“What?” Mikael shrugged. “He does.”

 

Isak blinked slowly. “I’ve never seen it.”

 

Mikael rolled his eyes. “That’s not the point.” 

 

“What’s not?” Jonas asked, turning his head.

 

“Isak not seeing Even’s film.” Mikael explained.

 

Immediately, everyone went into praise mode. They started talking about how good it was, how smart Even was, how proud of him they all were. Isak found himself sliding down in his seat, taking another gulp of beer with every word. They’d never talked to him like that before. 

 

They’d never been proud of him before. 

 

“Why haven’t you seen it?” Even asked him when everyone’s attention was captured by Noora coming in. 

 

Isak looked up at him, taking a second to let the words process. “I dunno. No one invited me.”

 

“No?”

 

Isak shook his head. “Guess they thought I’d ruin it for them.” He mumbled bitterly, taking another swig of the beer. 

 

Even raises his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything.  _ Good.  _ Isak didn’t need anyone else judging him. He got enough of that. Constantly. All the time. 

 

“I’m getting a cab.” Isak sighed when he realized the bottle was empty. 

 

“What?” Even blinked. “We’re supposed to go to a club after this. It’s only 20:30.” 

 

Isak shrugged. “Whatever.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Isak?”

 

Even had followed him outside, for whatever reason. Isak hunched his shoulders and kept walking — or stumbling — in the opposite direction. 

 

“Isak, hey.” A hand curled around his elbow, stopping him gently. If he wanted to pull away, it wouldn’t have been difficult, but he was drunk. Drunk and angry and sad and lonely. And sad. 

 

“What?”

 

“You should come to the party with us. It’s going to be fun.” Even told him.

 

Isak glanced up, squinting. He looked genuine, he sounded genuine, but that didn’t make any sense.

 

“None of my friends like me.” Isak whispered into the dark. “They all hang around me because of a time when they did like me, but… They don’t anymore.” He felt tears burn his eyes, a lump rise in his throat. “People leave people. That’s how it always is.” 

 

“You can’t really believe that.” Even whispered back, not at all taken aback by his sudden honesty. “Jonas would die for you.” 

 

Isak shook his head. “Because we’ve been friends forever. Time is the only thing that keeps us together. The only thing.”

 

“You don’t think that’s enough?” 

 

“It’s not.” Isak whispered, wiping his nose. “Whatever.” 

 

“Why do you always do that?” Even sighed. 

 

“What?”

 

“Say whatever when you don’t mean it.” Even pointed out. “I’d rather hear how you actually feel.” 

 

Isak paused, thinking that over. “Even if what I actually feel is shitty?” 

 

Even huffed out a laugh. “Even then.” 

 

* * *

 

 

“You know, Mikael was once really shitty about my bipolar. Like, really shit.” Even told him, smiling fondly, but his eyes were a sad. “He told me I was crazy, he didn’t know who I was anymore. He didn’t really get it.”

 

They were laying side by side on the cold ground, passing a blunt between themselves. Isak was higher than he’d ever been. He barely realized Even was talking to him.

 

“You had an episode?”

 

“Yeah.” Even nodded. “Ended up kissing him and everything.”

 

Isak raises his eyebrows. “He freaked out?” 

 

Even nodded again. “He didn’t know any better. Didn’t understand why I was acting so different. It really scared him. It scares him every time.”

 

Isak thought back to Nils; it was always terrifying, seeing someone you love in so much pain. It was a never ending cycle of watching them fall apart, only to have to piece them back together. It was exhausting. It was horrible, seeing someone hurt. “I hate that part.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“When they act different.” Isak whispered, thinking about his mom too. How the kind, sweet woman he knew would turn ugly. How she’d throw things at him and scream at him for not doing something — even when he did. How she went from loving him to hating him in an instant. 

 

“They?” Even asked.

 

“People.” Isak shrugged. “My ex, my mom. I dunno. I don’t like being yelled at.”

 

Even frowned. “Your moms bipolar?”

 

“No. Paranoid Schizophrenia.” Isak explained. 

 

“Your ex, he’d yell at you?” 

 

It was a simple question, but it brought a wave of heavy emotion over him. It had been two years since their breakup, but Isak hadn’t gotten over it. His first love, the person he’d made his family. It still hurt.

 

“Sometimes.” Isak shrugged. “When he was manic and I tried to stop him from doing shit, when he crashed and I tried to take care of him. When he kicked me out.” 

 

Even sighed. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Do you yell at people?” Isak asked, passing the blunt. 

 

“Well,” Even paused, thinking it over. “I have. Not usually, though.”

 

“But you don’t act like yourself?” 

 

“That’s not it.” Even shook his head. “I’m always me. But when I’m manic, I’m more. Just more excitable, more insatiable, more inspired. More impulsive. It scares people who don’t know what’s happening, I think. It’s like being on drugs or something.” 

 

Isak swallowed. “Yeah.”

 

Even looked at him for a long moment. “Is that why you hate mentally ill people? Because they yelled at you?”

 

“I don’t  _ hate  _ mentally ill people!” Isak groaned, throwing an arm over his face. “But it sucks. To be treated like that and then have to pretend nothing ever fucking happened.”

 

“Why would you do that? Pretend.”

 

“Because they’re sick. And you can’t blame them, so you have to just… take it.” Isak explained. 

 

Even shook his head. “That’s not true.”

 

“Yes, it is.” Isak insisted. “Everyone says so. You have to forgive them for anything they do, anything they say, you have to just get over it.”

 

“... No. No, Isak.” Even shifted onto his side, meeting his gaze. “If someone hurts you, manic or not, they should apologize. They should take care of you, too.” 

 

Isak blinked. “I don’t need to be taken care of.”

 

“Isak…” Even sighed. “You’ve got this all wrong.”

 

“What’s new.” Isak snorted.

 

Even made a face, taking the blunt from Isak’s hand and inhaling. “Wanna drop it?” 

 

Normally, Isak would’ve said yes. He would’ve run away from the problem, would’ve ignored Even’s words until they kept him up late at night. Normally, Isak would’ve held his ground. But he wasn’t feeling normal. 

 

“What do I have wrong?” He asked, staring at the sky. 

 

“I don’t know who told you that mentally ill people aren’t responsible for their actions, but they were wrong.” Even told him, matter of factly. “If I do something shitty when I’m manic, after I’m feeling better, I try to make it right. I don’t always have control over what I do, but when I do, I try to be the best version of myself possible. The best version of myself admits when I’m wrong.” 

 

Isak turned in his side, so he was looking up at Even. “I was wrong.” 

 

Even raised an eyebrow. “Hm?”

 

“About you.” 

 

“Well.” Even shrugged, wrapping an arm around Isak’s shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world. “I think I get why now.” 

 

Isak bit the inside of his cheek, watching while Even took another hit, hollowing his cheeks. He was beautiful. “Everyone loves you, y'know.” Isak admitted in a whisper. “I wish I was more like you.”

 

Even glanced down at him, making a face before pressing the blunt to Isak’s lips for him. “I think everyone loves you the way you are.”

 

“That’s a lie.” 

 

“Maybe you could be a  _ little _ nicer.” Even allowed with a grin. 

 

Isak rolled his eyes. “It’s not just that. I’m… They don’t even notice me. They probably haven’t noticed I left, but they noticed you left.” He sighed, letting his eyes fall shut. “No one cares.”

 

He felt Even’s hand move through his curls, tucking them behind his ear. “Jonas and Eskild almost came out after you. But I told them I would.”

 

“They let you?” Isak asked softly. 

 

“Well,” Even began, a smile in his voice. “Everyone  _ does  _ love me.”

 

“Fuck off.” Isak groaned, slapping his hand away. 

 

Even laughed, grabbing hold of his hand and pulling Isak to his feet. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

 

“You don’t know where I live.” Isak pointed out, slurring.

 

“I’ll text Eskild.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Isak, what pocket do you keep your keys in?” Even asked, patting Isak’s sides.

 

“Don’t feel me up!” 

 

“I’m not feeling you up, I’m trying to help you get into your place.” Even chuckled, slipping a hand into Isak’s back pocket to pull out his keys. “God, you’re a handful.” 

 

“Don’t make fun of my ass size!”

 

“Oh,  _ Jesus.  _ That’s not what I meant!” 

 

Isak leaned against the wall, watching Even fumble with the door, a pout in his lips. “No one told you to follow me, yknow.” 

 

Even glanced over at him. “Come on, Valtersen.” 

 

Isak’s flat was small, modest. He had one table with one chair, a futon in the middle of the room with his laptop on the side table. A closet that was made for clothes, but really just held his bike. The clothes were all over the floor, instead. It wasn’t… great. He hadn’t even taken the trash out in a week and a half. 

 

“Sorry.” He found himself sighting when Even helped him fall back onto the futon.

 

“For what?” 

 

“The mess.” Isak mumbled. “No one comes over anymore. So.”

 

Even sat on the edge of the futon, tugging off Isak’s shoes. “Wasn’t Eskild over earlier?” 

 

“Just to get me to come out.” Isak mumbled before snorting. “He’s always been the one to get me to  _ come out. _ ” 

 

Even laughed. “You’re actually a dork, aren’t you?” 

 

Isak opened one eye to look up at him. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” 

 

When he woke up the next morning, it was to an entirely clean flat and a note taped to the door that read: 

 

_ ‘next time, we should hang with the others too’. _

 

* * *

 

 

The next time Isak saw him, they ran into one another at a cafe. It was before work, Isak hadn’t slept at all the night before and looked awful. Heavy bags under his eyes, shirt backwards, hair mussed. He pulled up his hoodie as soon as he saw Even, but that wasn’t fast enough. 

 

“Halla!” Even grinned. He looked happy. Stupidly happy. Annoyingly happy. Handsome and happy. “Whoa, you look exhausted.” 

 

Isak dropped his gaze. “Uh, yeah.”

 

“Have you slept?” Even asked, eyebrows knit together with concern. 

 

“No, but…” He shrugged. “Work.”

 

Even considered him for a moment before the barista called Isak’s name. Quickly, Even snatched up his coffee for him. “Call off work.”

 

“What?” Isak blinked. “I can’t. I have bills.”

 

“I’ll take care of that. Just call off work for the day.” Even insisted, lifting the coffee cup up over his head and out of Isak’s reach. “Seriously, you need a rest day.” 

 

“You don’t know what I need, dipshit.”

 

“Touchy.” Even smirked. 

 

Isak ended up agreeing, because Even wouldn’t give him his coffee until he did. He ended up following Even back to his place, ended up watching some movie with him and falling asleep on the couch. He ended up waking up to Even having ordered him Chinese. 

 

They played FIFA and ran outside together when the sun came out for a minute. 

 

Isak gathered up a snowball and shoved it into Even’s hair, Even laughed and pushed one into his face. It was the best day Isak had, had in a long time. He went home grinning.

 

It wasn’t until he woke up the next morning and saw all the posts his friends had posted that he realized it had been Even’s birthday.

 

* * *

 

 

It kept happening, Isak realized. Even would catch him on the way home, convince him to come out for dinner. Or somehow be near his work during his lunch break. Or would message him on Instagram on a Friday to invite him out. Every time Isak made a mean comment or was tired and grumpy, Even would laugh. He seemed entirely delighted with Isak. Like maybe he enjoyed his personality. 

 

Pretty soon, Isak realized he was looking forward to it. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw Jonas, but he saw Even constantly. 

 

It was nice.

 

* * *

 

 

At a bar one night, Even kept buying him all his drinks. Every time Isak went to pull out his card, the taller man was suddenly at his elbow, handing his card over to the bartender. 

 

“You know I can pay for myself, right?” Isak asked, flicking his eyebrows up. 

 

Even just shrugged. “I can pay for you too.”

 

“With your movie money?”

 

“Maybe.” Even’s eyes sparkled. “Is that a problem?”

 

Isak bit the inside of his cheek, forcing back a smile. “Maybe. My beer is going to taste like a pompous, piece of shit movie.”

 

“Oh? And what does that taste like?” 

 

“Disappointment.” Isak grinned.

 

Even let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back and clutching his stomach. 

 

If Isak didn’t know better, he’d think Even liked him. As a person. 

 

But that couldn’t be possible and Mikael made sure he knew that. 

 

“He likes to help people.” He said, cornering Isak in the restroom at the bar. “He’s a good person like that and  _ you _ need more help than anyone I’ve ever met.” Mikael had glared at him in a way that was reminiscent of Jonas. “You better watch your mouth around him. Got it?”

 

Isak shrugged, eyes downcast. “Whatever.”

 

Mikael nodded, leaving him alone. 

 

Isak and Even were getting along, but no one else seemed to understand or be okay with that. Mahdi kept giving them suspicious looks, Jonas kept checking in on him, and even Mutta —  _ Mutta _ — kept asking if Even was okay. Like maybe Even had to be sick to consider hanging out with Isak.

 

It was ridiculous and by the second hour at the bar, Isak was ready to go home. 

 

“You’re leaving?” Even asked, appearing in front of the exit like magic. Just like at the bar.

 

Isak swallowed. “Oh, uh. Yeah. Got work in the morning. And stuff.”

 

“And stuff.” Even echoed.

 

Isak nodded.

 

“Well, I’ll walk you home.” Even smiled, like he meant it. Like he knew something that Isak didn’t, like he was in on a secret. Maybe he was trying to help Isak, maybe Mikael was right. 

 

Maybe Even just felt bad for him. 

 

“I can walk by myself, thanks.” Isak snapped, sidestepping him. 

 

“Wait, whoa—“ Even reached out for him but Isak stepped out of reach. 

 

“Dude, I’m not fucking interested in being your charity case.” Isak told him, angrily. “I don’t need some  _ crazy _ fucking—“

 

Even took a step closer to him, glaring right back. “Isak.”

 

“Even.” 

 

They stared at one another for a long, tense moment. Even looked pissed, like if he’d had a drink he would’ve tossed into Isak’s face. And Isak? He probably looked close to tears. He  _ felt  _ close to tears. 

 

“What’s going on?” Even asked finally.

 

“What’s it to you?” Isak shot back, elbowing past him. “You’re so fucking annoying.” 

 

* * *

 

**Unknown**

  
  


Unknown: I’m sorry. 

 

Isak: Who is this?

 

Unknown: Even. 

Unknown: I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry.

 

Isak: You didn’t do shit. What the fuck?

Isak: I’m tired.

 

Unknown: Can I come walk you home?

 

Isak: lmao

 

* * *

 

 

Isak sat at the bus stop, glaring down at his phone. He was cold, he was tired. Mikael’s words echoed in his head and he couldn’t help but agree. Even was nice. He was kind, he was forgiving. Isak was surrounded by barbed wire, Even was surrounded by open fields. No one was scared of getting stabbed when they got too close to  _ him _ . 

 

“Isak.” 

 

Of course, he’d followed him. 

 

“Go away.” Isak groaned, hiding his face in his hands. 

 

“Why?” Even asked, kneeling in front of Isak and pulling his hands away from his face. 

 

Isak kept his eyes squeezed shut, refusing to look at him. “Because I feel like crying and I don’t want to cry in front of you.”

 

“I’m a great person to cry in front of, I promise.” Even hummed, shifting next to Isak on the bench. “What’s going on?” 

 

Isak leaned into him because he was a little drunk and a lot sad and had been bad at denying Even what he wanted. “I’m sorry I called you crazy.” He whispered brokenly, hiding his face when the tears finally came. “I’m really sorry.”

 

“Hey, it’s alright.” Even mumbled, pulling Isak into his chest. “Relax. Don’t worry.”

 

Isak shook his head, shoulders heaving as he cried. He didn’t think he could talk without sobbing harder. He hated crying in front of anyone, but especially when he was the one who’d just been a dick. Even shouldn’t have been comforting him. 

 

After a few minutes, his breathing evened out and he’d calmed down enough to pull away. “Sorry.” Isak whispered, hoarsely, wiping his cheeks.

 

“Why did you walk out of there?” Even asked gently.

 

“Why did you?”

 

“I was following you.”

 

“You know people hurt people. Then they leave. That’s life.” Isak shrugged. 

 

Even looked him over. “Yeah. That’s a  _ part _ of life. That’s not all of it.”

 

“... I think it might be all that’s in it for me.” Isak whispered. “Ever since your movie.”

 

“Let’s get you home.” Even sighed. 

 

LNo!” Isak stood up, reading at his hair. “Before your stupid movie I actually had friends. I had people who cared about me and wanted to see and… Then they all saw your stupid movie and they don’t even think about me anymore.” Isak shoved at Even’s chest, ignoring the way his eyes burned with tears. How his chest felt like it was going to explode.

 

“Isak—“

 

“Everyone  _ loves _ you.” Isak shouted, shoving him again. “No one cares about me anymore. I’m just some fucking after thought and…” He shoved Even again. 

 

“Isak,  _ please. _ ” Even begged, grabbing his wrists. 

 

Isak shook his head, beasting on the man’s chest with his fists. “No one loves me anymore and it’s all because of your stupid —“

 

Even pulled Isak in by his wrists and captured his lips in a kiss. Isak froze, unable to process what it meant while Even moved his lips against Isaks again. And again, until he coaxed his mouth open and their tongues were moving together. Until Even had him backed up against some wall, had Isak gasping against his mouth. 

 

They kissed until Isak tasted his tears, until he had to pull away to breathe while Even peppered kisses down his neck. 

 

“Why did you do that?” Isak whispered against his hairline. 

 

Even pulled back, rubbing his thumb over Isak’s cheekbone. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He whispered. 

 

“... It didn’t hurt?”

 

“No.” Even grinned. “I meant the movie.”

 

Isak nodded. “Oh.”

 

“Not everybody loves me.” Even whispered, running his thumb over Isak’s lips then. “My ex girlfriend hates me for cheating on her. I was manic and… Got into trouble and didn’t think. There’s this guy, Olaf, who wishes I was dead probably. Sometimes I think Elias only just puts up with me for Mikael’s sake. I’m not liked by most people, okay? I’m not. A lot of people think I’m manipulative and —“

 

“You’re not.” Isak blurted, reaching out to grab hold of Even’s jacket with both hands. “You’re not like that.”

 

Even but his lip, grinning. “I could be.”

 

“You’re not.”

 

“People hurt people, though?”

 

Isak shook his head. “I don’t think you’d ever hurt someone on purpose.”

 

Even looked him over, mouth dropping open in surprise before they both moved forward again. Isak kissed Even hard, like he meant it. He wanted Even to feel how much he adored him, how good Isak thought he was. He wanted Even to feel how amazing Isak thought he was, how kind.

 

“Even.” Isak whispered, voice soft.

 

“Let’s get you home.”

 

-

 

To Isak’s surprise, his futon fit both of them nicely.

 

* * *

 

“What’s going on here?” Mahdi asked, glancing between the two. 

 

They were at a release party for Even’s film, something like three months later. Isak was leaning against the wall with his back, hips jutted out. Even had a hand on the wall next to him, had been whispering in his ear about how they should ditch when Mahdi showed up. 

 

“Hey.” Even grinned, pulling back while Isak straightened. “Thanks for coming, man.”

 

Mahdi hummed. “No problem.” He glanced between the two of them. “Is this a thing now?”

 

Even raised his eyebrows before look over at Isak, who was already blushing brightly. “It might be a little bit of a thing. Just a little.”

 

“Only a little?” Isak scoffed.

 

“Maybe a lot.” Even chuckled, wrapping an arm around Isak’s neck and pulling him in to press a kiss to his cheek. 

**Author's Note:**

> i loved writing this verse! maybe i'll come back to it one day bc it was fun
> 
> x zee
> 
> twitter: sungaymournin


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